The Number One Reason You Can't Break Free

You’re familiar with the “fight or flight” reactions to stressful situations, but recently another common response is being researched and understood more and more: Freeze. This is an increasingly common answer to perceived threats, especially among people dealing with our least favorite foes: Stress, Overwhelm and Burnout – that sneaky S.O.B. Freezing in stressful situations (or perceived stressful situations) is akin to…well, freezing. It stops the action, keeping you from change or any helpful movement away from the threat. 

Here are some hints your body may be utilizing the freeze response: 

• You feel cold

• You have numbness in your body

• Your skin is pale

• You feel stiff or heavy

• You have a sense of dread

• Your heart is pounding

• Your heart rate may decrease

• You feel yourself 'getting used to' the stress

(List from Better Help)

Mentally, you’re not thinking about how or why you might change your situation, you refuse help even if it’s offered, you give up when things don’t go exactly as imagined (which they often don’t) – all of these reactions KEEP you frozen and perpetually in a stressed-out state. You can’t escape stress because you’re literally and metaphorically frozen in this state. Your brain isn’t thinking logically or rationally, telling you there’s no way out. You’re unable to imagine a solution or ask for help, even though that’s exactly what you need.

Psychology Today unpacks it simply and thoroughly, saying that “this reaction refers to a situation in which you’ve concluded (in a matter of seconds—if not milliseconds) that you can neither defeat the frighteningly dangerous opponent confronting you nor safely bolt from it. And ironically, this self-paralyzing response can, in the moment, be just as adaptive as either valiantly fighting the enemy or, more cautiously, fleeing from it.” That’s the key – freezing is self-paralyzing. It’s your body clamming up at a perceived threat, “numbing out -- dissociating from the here and now” and while this can work as an effective self-preservation technique in some situations (such as physical or emotional abuse), it’s not a good habit to let your body use as it’s default response (PT). 

So, if you find yourself frozen in stress, take these simple steps to escape. 

1. Find the Truth

What’s really happening here? Is there a real threat or only a perceived one? 

2. Keep Calm and Carry On

In perceived or real stress situations, Better Help reminds us to “breathe deeply, practice mindfulness of the present moment, meditate, pray, sing, write, or talk.” Anything to keep your mind functioning rationally. Even counting by 7’s in your head until your heart rate returns to normal. 

3. MAKE A CHOICE

Next, to keep from freezing over, challenge yourself to make a choice. It doesn’t have to be huge or life changing (in fact, it probably shouldn’t be) but it has to be something. Leaving the room, getting a drink of water, responding calmly, reply to the insulting email with a “I’ll have to get back to you on this next week” and then pushing it from your mind. Choose the next right thing for you, big or small. 

Once you’ve recognized your default response is freezing in stressful situations, you’re halfway to freeing yourself. Find truth. Keep calm. Make a choice. You can do it.