Tools to Defeat an S.O.B.
When strengthening your core in order to defeat the enemies of stress, overwhelm and burnout a mindset shift is necessary in order to be successful. Think of it as a change in strategy – if you’ve been defeated by the S.O.B. in the past, you’ll need to rethink your game plan in order to be successful in the future.
First up is the practical part of defining your core in order to strengthen it. Your metaphorical core (not actual abdominal muscles – although taking care of the physical self does have an important role to play in mental health), consists of three important parts.
Values
Strengths
Mission/Purpose in life
Once you’ve clearly defined the above for yourself (no one can do this for you) and use this as daily motivation for accomplishing goals and building your vision, you become a powerhouse, find a sense of direction and can access a motivation that never runs dry.
Unless you truly define your core beliefs and act upon them, you may unknowingly be acting upon stress-inducing, unhealthy, limiting core beliefs. Destressify warns us that “stress is often covering over a raw core emotion. Generally, that emotion is a fear, such as a fear of inadequacy, lack of control, or of being hurt by others”. Unless we consciously define our core beliefs to define our TRUE selves, we could unknowingly be acting from a place of fear and letting that limited viewpoint define our lives. Stresscourse.com reminds us that limiting beliefs such as “I’m not pretty/I’m not clever/I’m lazy/I’m a failure/etc.” are “not 100% factual – they are personal opinions. The problem is that because we think them, we believe they are correct and they create for us a psychological straight jacket, and if they are rigid and inflexible they can cause resentment, anger and frustration”.
The need for TRUE beliefs that strengthen our core, our resolve, and our determination is imperative and LIFE CHANGING. When we are able to change our inner monologues from “I’m no good” to “I’m still learning” (or something similarly kind and compassionate), we can finally begin to combat stress in a real and lasting way instead of searching for quick fixes that don’t act as long-term solutions.
The mind is everything. What you think, you become.
-often attributed to Gautama Buddha
Whether or not this quote is direct or a paraphrased version of the Buddha’s teachings, we must recognize how true this is – the longer you believe limiting things about yourself, the longer you are limited. Change your thinking today. Try this exercise: the next time you encounter a negative inner monologue, take a deep breath and pause, tell yourself (out loud if you can, internally if you’re not in a good space to do so) the truth that you are a valuable human being who is allowed to make mistakes, mess up, and improve over time (or whatever helps you in that moment).
Once you start to actively control your thoughts and properly defined your core beliefs, you can finally shift your mindset so that stress reduction isn’t your end goal, it’s merely a tool to reach your goals. Time management is not a goal, it’s a tool to achieve what you desire. You control your stress levels, your time, and your thinking by focusing on your core beliefs and letting positive beliefs guide you instead of limiting ones.